To understand what is challenging you and your partner’s communication, it’s important to look back at your past.
You might have started avoiding communication because your parents were too strict or too punishing or unresponsive, as a consequence, to protect yourself, you started distancing yourself from any type of tension.
As a child, you were never given the proper tools to communicate properly during conflict. Therefore, you lack this competence as an adult when you are faced with troubles in your relationship, you therefore deny them, joke about them, distract yourself with other areas of your life, overreact or lash out or simply walk away from them.
Disagreements are so uncomfortable for you that you disconnect totally from your emotions, you neglect your needs and store up frustration.
These strategies will pile up until it’s practically unbearable any more. You must KNOW that it’s okay to SPEAK UP, it is okay to agree to disagree and still be together.
Disagreements don’t need to threaten your existence, instead it can strengthen your relationship. As you learn to proper deal with your emotions through effectively expressing yourself, you will experience fewer experiences of betrayal, disappointments and unmet expectations, you will be able to enjoy an authentic relationship by being completely at ease to be your full self. It is possible for you to be heard, accepted and respected just the way you are.